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And if your privates hang all the way down to the ground, you’ve either got a 3 foot dick (congratulations by the way) or you’re an old lady with 4 foot long boobs (we’re all gonna be there eventually). So if you’re looking for a boost of pride in the morning when you slip into your underwear, America themed men’s or women’s undies are more than capable of delivering. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"eagle-stars-stripes-boxers","title":"The Mascot | American Flag Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIntroducing The Mascot Ball Hammock®, aka the eagle's nest, where your balls will experience an unprecedented level of comfort and support from here on out. It's as if your plums mounted a cloud while riding Falcor from The Neverending Story. \u003cspan\u003eOr, in this case, the wings of a god-damn Eagle. 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