{"title":"Christmas Onesie Pajamas","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cstyle type=\"text\/css\"\u003e\u003c!--\ntd {border: 1px solid #ccc;}br {mso-data-placement:same-cell;}\n--\u003e\u003c\/style\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-value=\"{\" single piece of fabric will provide you warmth all winter. some call them christmas onesies. we body condoms... well at least do around the office. until condom catches on stuck with boring terms that google recognize like ugly onesies mens onesie womens and onesis for adults. know stuff that. oh family course. drop data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":13059,\"3\":[null,0],\"4\":[null,2,16776960],\"11\":4,\"12\":0,\"15\":\"Arial\",\"16\":10}'\u003eThis single piece of fabric will provide you warmth all winter. Some call them Christmas onesies. We call them body condoms... well at least we do around the office. Until body condom catches on, we're stuck with boring terms that Google will recognize like ugly Christmas onesies. Anyways, these adult Christmas onesies are here to make your holidays more jolly, and your \"grocery runs\" less conspicuous.  \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-value=\"{\" single piece of fabric will provide you warmth all winter. some call them christmas onesies. we body condoms... well at least do around the office. until condom catches on stuck with boring terms that google recognize like ugly onesies mens onesie womens and onesis for adults. know stuff that. oh family course. drop data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":13059,\"3\":[null,0],\"4\":[null,2,16776960],\"11\":4,\"12\":0,\"15\":\"Arial\",\"16\":10}'\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eImprove your Snuggle in these Christmas Onesies for Adults\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was snuggled, not even Mrs. Claus. The Claus’ were blue without their comfort and snuggles, their hugs and their kisses, their squeezes and cuddles. Santa’s not himself when he doesn’t get snuggled, the elves don’t get paid and the reindeer get muzzled. But there is hope yet with this holiday onesie, this snuggled up PJ that’s totally funsie. This men’s hooded one-piece is a holiday wonder, a true footie treasure, a gift seeker’s plunder. Buy yours on the web at Shinesty.com, and snuggle your way to a live action rom-com.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe could rhyme all day but let’s get to the point... Cuffing season is upon us and you either get snuggled in this Christmas onesie for adults or you weather this romantic season alone, leaving your dating life out in the cold to die. We’re sorry to get so dark so quickly, we know we were spinning some adorable Christmas verses a second ago, but this is real. Winter is far too long and too arduous to survive without snuggles. By the time spring rolls around, you’ll be so out of practice, you’d be lucky to convince someone to give you a handshake. So get your xmas onesie with footies today and lock in your place among the winter lovers. In an array of patterns for both men and women, you can find the pattern best suited to attract your holiday snuggle buddy. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn the immortal words of Andre 3000, the only thing colder than being cold is being ice cold, a.k.a. not cuddling up in this ugly Christmas onesie and spending the rest of your life painfully alone. Don’t disrespect Andre like that, open your heart to this wearable hearth and bask in the warm glory of everybody wanting to sleep with you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eChristmas Onesie Pajama Patterns: From Plaid to Funny\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOur Christmas onesie patterns are a hallucinatory descent from plaid into madness. Slap one on and before you know it, you’re traversing the highland with cheap scotch in one hand and deflated bagpipes tucked under the other. As any highlander knows, there can be only one and unfortunately, it ain’t you chief. Not since Macbeth has there been a more tragic Scottish figure than the likes of you, as things go from bad to plaid to worse. But hark, who is that over yonder heath amongst the flock of sheep? Why it’s a Shinesty rep with a secret to tell you about your adult Christmas onesies. All he wants in exchange is a sip of your scotch and a toot of your bagpipe. A little weird to be sure but hey, what happens in the highland stays in the highlands. And that’s when he explains “Your xmas hooded onesie isn’t just plaid, it’s also super funny. You’re not in a tragedy dude, you’re in a comedy.” That’s when you wake up in a cold sweat. Well actually a warm sweat because you’re wrapped up tight in said onesie. But you haven’t simply woken up, you’ve become woke. It’s at this point in your winter fashion enlightenment that you realize there is no free will... That you don’t get to choose between fashionable and funny or between festive and classy, because all our Christmas onesies for adults are all of these things at once. They’re plaid AND sexy. And they’re hooded AND come with footies, even if you're an adult. Plus, they’re made for both men AND women. So the only thing you can really ask yourself is, do you want to be really comfortable and look outrageously good in this ugly Christmas onesie (we get the irony), or don’t you?\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"christmas-tree-big-knit-onesie","title":"The Red Ryder | Knit Print Christmas Onesie","description":"\u003cp\u003eScrew the ugly sweater party, this year is all about the undeniable king: the Christmas PJ's. Why would you choose to wear a hand-me-down mothball sweater when you could show up to the party in complete comfort in this big zip red Christmas onesie? Get ready to drop to your knees for peppermint patty shots with a sweet candy cane chasers. This classic red and green knit print onesie is the newest life of the party. \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":39297890975813,"sku":"10097-1182-XS","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"S","offer_id":29455070068805,"sku":"10097-1182-S","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":29455070101573,"sku":"10097-1182-M","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":29455070134341,"sku":"10097-1182-L","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":29455070167109,"sku":"10097-1182-XL","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":29455070199877,"sku":"10097-1182-2X","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/IMG_9637-Edit_e94fd51f-bfda-47dc-a4f8-ae813a24cb08.jpg?v=1762200718"},{"product_id":"gingerbread-onesie","title":"The Ginger Rail | Gingerbread Onesie","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eGet a dustpan and a broom for the crumbly cookies I'm talkin'\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCRUMB\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCRUMB\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCRUMB\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":40519632977989,"sku":"10097-1143-XS","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"S","offer_id":40519633010757,"sku":"10097-1143-S","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":40519633043525,"sku":"10097-1143-M","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":40519633076293,"sku":"10097-1143-L","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":40519633109061,"sku":"10097-1143-XL","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":40519633141829,"sku":"10097-1143-2X","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/GingerbreadOnesie_a541991c-3793-441f-aeb6-ff0abe504219.png?v=1762272447"},{"product_id":"white-thanksgiving-onesie-1","title":"The Spread | White Thanksgiving Onesie","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eOne Thanksgiving, our family meal was marred by a bizarre chain of events that I will recount to you now. My Uncle Bob was never a thin man, but due to an affinity for my grandma's cooking, the button on his pants was hanging on for dear life particularly hard that day. He was seated by the window so he could experience his unpleasant overconsumption symptoms without sweating on anybody's dinner, and I remember seeing him talking to himself without blinking. About halfway through the meal, his pants button suddenly popped and went flying toward the other table, straight at Uncle Gaither's glass eye. Uncle Gaither yelped, the glass eye popped out, and it fell right into the cranberry sauce, which splashed allllllll over my mom's pristine white vintage lace tablecloth. Uncle Bob got up to help, but his idea of \"helping\" was attempting to rip the tablecloth out from underneath the feast like a cartoon magician. Food and a single eyeball went soaring and dinner was ruined. Eventually, we found Uncle Gaither's eye in the rubble, but it's been a little pink ever since that day. I can't help but think that if Uncle Bob had just been wearing these Thanksgiving Pajamaralls®, that catastrophe would have been averted, and he could have just slept it off, preferably in another room.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":41164570886213,"sku":"10097-1177-XS","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"S","offer_id":41164570918981,"sku":"10097-1177-S","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":41164570951749,"sku":"10097-1177-M","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":41164570984517,"sku":"10097-1177-L","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":41164571017285,"sku":"10097-1177-XL","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":41164571050053,"sku":"10097-1177-2X","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/spread_onesie_mens-11copy.jpg?v=1762275167"},{"product_id":"christmas-toile-onesie","title":"The Santa Slays | Christmas Toile Onesie","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHoliday Tidings #12\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIs the pear tree also part of the gift, or is it just the partridge? Either way, that’s a bad present.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":41167578923077,"sku":"10097-1546-XS","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"S","offer_id":41167578955845,"sku":"10097-1546-S","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":41167578988613,"sku":"10097-1546-M","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":41167579021381,"sku":"10097-1546-L","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":41167579054149,"sku":"10097-1546-XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":41167579086917,"sku":"10097-1546-2X","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/santaslays_pajamarall_a6d7acf8-ce07-49e5-8f4b-b447e6b0f844.jpg?v=1762275189"},{"product_id":"snowflake-buffalo-check-onesie","title":"The In A Flurry | Snowflake Buffalo Check Onesie","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eJust in case no one has told you in awhile: don't eat the yellow snow.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":41167579119685,"sku":"10097-1586-XS","price":47.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"S","offer_id":41167579152453,"sku":"10097-1586-S","price":47.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":41167579185221,"sku":"10097-1586-M","price":47.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":41167579217989,"sku":"10097-1586-L","price":47.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":41167579250757,"sku":"10097-1586-XL","price":47.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2X","offer_id":41167579283525,"sku":"10097-1586-2X","price":47.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/inaflurry_pajamarall_dea429dc-d39a-4a2a-83d4-2857898f9e04.jpg?v=1762275192"},{"product_id":"ladies-unisex-christmas-toile-onesie","title":"The Santa Slays | Ladies Unisex Christmas Toile Onesie","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHoliday Tidings #12\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIs the pear tree also part of the gift, or is it just the partridge? Either way, that’s a bad present.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"NP","offer_id":42188971081797,"sku":"40097-1546-NP","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/pdp_21a5f56c-469b-44f4-a107-b5db0f023d70.jpg?v=1763665373"}],"url":"https:\/\/shinesty.com\/collections\/christmas-onesies.oembed","provider":"Shinesty","version":"1.0","type":"link"}