{"title":"Halloween Underwear \u0026 Undies","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eYou’ve got Halloween underwear on your mind. We know this because the internet overlords told us that you are in desperate need of pumpkin underwear. OK, we’ll admit that isn’t 100% true. The shocking truth is we have developed a human\/pumpkin chimera in our secret laboratory deep below CU Boulder’s campus. It has radical telepathic abilities that allow us to read your mind, but oddly enough only when it comes to underwear needs and wants. At this point you’re probably wondering why on earth we would reveal our company's deepest darkest secret that undoubtedly violates numerous medical and ethical conventions? It’s because nobody even reads the SEO anyways and It’s really been weighing on my consciousness lately so I just wanted to vent a little bit and get it out in the open. If by chance you are still reading this SEO and you are tempted to contact the authorities, just do me a tiny little solid and put the phone down alright? Anyways, let's put the tin foil down and head back to reality here. Who wouldn’t want spooky underwear this season? Shop men’s and women’s matching Halloween undies and don’t frighten yourself when you drop your pants while wearing this spooky underwear. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e---\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eMen's and Women's Halloween Underwear to Die for\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eSpooktacular halloween underwear is found right here on this page along with horrid puns that I refuse to apologize for. How about some gourdgeous pumpkin underwear to match your pumpkin’s underpants? Now THAT’S some spooky underwear if you ask me. Speaking of things that are spooky, have I told you about that time my neighbor made a lasagna out of her newborn's placenta for “Nutritional purposes” and tried to sell me a slice for $10? Turns out it was “Schrödinger’s Placenta” because I was so hungry after eating it that it must have simultaneously existed and not existed in my stomach at the same time. I had to fork out another 20 bones just to get some pizza delivered later that night because of the stingy serving size. Shop Halloween undies for you and your boo right now, cuz we guarantee they’ll leave you more satisfied than Schrödinger’s Placenta.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eUnderwear Spooky enough to be your Halloween Costume\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eThis Halloween underwear is so spooky, that experts say you don’t even need a costume when you’ve got couples matching pumpkin underwear. Now you may be asking, are there truly experts out there for spooky underwear? My answer is: I have no idea, but what does it matter? You’re still here reading about Halloween undies when you could simply be buying said Halloween underwear. Should you choose to go out of your way and still purchase a costume, it’s mandatory that it be a “sexy” version of your chosen character. You ever wanted to bang the person in the Goofy costume at Disneyland? No? Me either I guess….\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"monster-smash-halloween-boxers","title":"The Monster Smash | Halloween Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFrankenstein's monster may not have found love, but you will in the Monster Smash Ball Hammock® boxer briefs. If anything, you should really do your part to make up for the love he sought so desperately. All these boxers need is a little brain if ya know what I'm saying. Stick your monster in the pouch to watch it come alive.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":19695644901445,"sku":"10071-0450-S","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":19695644934213,"sku":"10071-0450-M","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":19695644966981,"sku":"10071-0450-L","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":19695644999749,"sku":"10071-0450-XL","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":19695645032517,"sku":"10071-0450-2X","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3X","offer_id":39876804182085,"sku":"10071-0450-3X","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4X","offer_id":39876804214853,"sku":"10071-0450-4X","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5X","offer_id":39876804247621,"sku":"10071-0450-5X","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/MonsterSmashBXStndrd.png?v=1759255047"},{"product_id":"long-leg-halloween-character-ball-hammock-pouch-underwear-with-fly","title":"The Monster Smash | Ball Hammock® Boxer - Long Leg","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eStudies show that horniness can turn people into irrational monsters, and based on this print we’re gonna have to say the science is solid. Donning these Halloween character \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eLong Leg Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly\u003c\/span\u003e \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eis only going to improve your chances with that sexy police officer at your Halloween party. We recommend verifying the authenticity of their costume before requesting an extensive bedside handcuff demonstration.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":39285891760197,"sku":"10180-0450-S","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":39285891792965,"sku":"10180-0450-M","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":39285891825733,"sku":"10180-0450-L","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":39285891858501,"sku":"10180-0450-XL","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2X","offer_id":39285891891269,"sku":"10180-0450-2X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3X","offer_id":39876805787717,"sku":"10180-0450-3X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4X","offer_id":39876805820485,"sku":"10180-0450-4X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5X","offer_id":39876805853253,"sku":"10180-0450-5X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/MonsterSmash_8ece69a0-e0ee-4806-9ddb-96db76fc01f2.png?v=1759258149"},{"product_id":"halloween-character-modal-bikini-underwear","title":"The Monster Smash | Halloween Character Modal Bikini Underwear","description":"\u003cp\u003eStudies show that horniness can turn people into irrational monsters, and based on this print we’re gonna have to say the science is solid. Donning these Halloween character modal bikini underwear is only going to improve your chances with that sexy police officer at your Halloween party. We recommend verifying the authenticity of their costume before requesting an extensive bedside handcuff demonstration.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":39285894316101,"sku":"10174-0450-XS","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":39285894348869,"sku":"10174-0450-S","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":39285894381637,"sku":"10174-0450-M","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":39285894414405,"sku":"10174-0450-L","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":39285894447173,"sku":"10174-0450-XL","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":39285894479941,"sku":"10174-0450-2X","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/monstersmash_bikini-4_editedpdp.jpg?v=1772233767"},{"product_id":"monster-smash-halloween-boxers-with-fly","title":"The Monster Smash | Halloween Ball Hammock® Boxers With Fly","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eStudies show that horniness can turn people into irrational monsters, and based on this print we’re gonna have to say the science is solid. Donning these \u003c\/span\u003eHalloween Ball Hammock® Boxers With Fly \u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eis only going to improve your chances with that sexy police officer at your Halloween party. We recommend verifying the authenticity of their costume before requesting an extensive bedside handcuff demonstration.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":39454959272005,"sku":"10070-0450-S","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":39454959304773,"sku":"10070-0450-M","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":39454959337541,"sku":"10070-0450-L","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":39454959370309,"sku":"10070-0450-XL","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":39454959403077,"sku":"10070-0450-2X","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3X","offer_id":39876801888325,"sku":"10070-0450-3X","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4X","offer_id":39876801921093,"sku":"10070-0450-4X","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5X","offer_id":39876801953861,"sku":"10070-0450-5X","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/MonsterSmash_3acf8118-2e8a-4992-9b34-d0c5d3cc33c7.png?v=1762269759"},{"product_id":"glow-in-the-dark-skeletons-ball-hammock-pouch-underwear-with-fly","title":"The Bare Back Bones | Glow in the Dark Skeletons Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly","description":"\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eThe hip bone's connected to the back bone. The back bone's connected to the neck bone. The neck bone's connected to the head bone. But we can only tell you what the head bone’s connected to on this Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear with Fly if you’re over 18. \u003c\/span\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":39805632249925,"sku":"10070-0452-S","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":39805632282693,"sku":"10070-0452-M","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":39805632315461,"sku":"10070-0452-L","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":39805632348229,"sku":"10070-0452-XL","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2X","offer_id":39805632380997,"sku":"10070-0452-2X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3X","offer_id":39876960485445,"sku":"10070-0452-3X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4X","offer_id":39876960518213,"sku":"10070-0452-4X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5X","offer_id":39876960550981,"sku":"10070-0452-5X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/BareBackBones_26f95ff4-459d-4bf8-a6fb-3adbcfd50761.png?v=1762270570"},{"product_id":"tombstone-ball-hammock-pouch-underwear-with-fly","title":"The Headstone | Tombstone Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eTake a closer look and you'll discover why we called this pair of\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear with fly a HEADstone and not a TOMBstone. RIP Wayne Kerr, Ron Chee and Connie Lingus. You'll live in our dirty thoughts forever.\u003c\/span\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":39805632970821,"sku":"10070-0456-S","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":39805633003589,"sku":"10070-0456-M","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":39805633036357,"sku":"10070-0456-L","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":39805633069125,"sku":"10070-0456-XL","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":39805633101893,"sku":"10070-0456-2X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3X","offer_id":39876960780357,"sku":"10070-0456-3X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4X","offer_id":39876960813125,"sku":"10070-0456-4X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5X","offer_id":39876960845893,"sku":"10070-0456-5X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/Headstone_72505e19-f65a-4101-b138-e42007665231.png?v=1762270571"},{"product_id":"glow-in-the-dark-skeletons-ball-hammock-pouch-underwear","title":"The Bare Back Bones | Glow in the Dark Skeletons Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear","description":"\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eThe hip bone's connected to the back bone. The back bone's connected to the neck bone. The neck bone's connected to the head bone. But we can only tell you what the head bone’s connected to on this Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear if you’re over 18. \u003c\/span\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":39805634969669,"sku":"10071-0452-S","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":39805635002437,"sku":"10071-0452-M","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":39805635067973,"sku":"10071-0452-L","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":39805635100741,"sku":"10071-0452-XL","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2X","offer_id":39805635166277,"sku":"10071-0452-2X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3X","offer_id":39876961304645,"sku":"10071-0452-3X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4X","offer_id":39876961337413,"sku":"10071-0452-4X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5X","offer_id":39876961370181,"sku":"10071-0452-5X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/BareBackBones_8a516817-f1f7-473c-92e8-4a1128191bd1.png?v=1762270573"},{"product_id":"tombstone-ball-hammock-pouch-underwear","title":"The Headstone | Tombstone Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eTake a closer look and you'll discover why we called this pair of\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear a HEADstone and not a TOMBstone. RIP Wayne Kerr, Ron Chee and Connie Lingus. You'll live in our dirty thoughts forever.\u003c\/span\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":39805638148165,"sku":"10071-0456-S","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":39805638180933,"sku":"10071-0456-M","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":39805638213701,"sku":"10071-0456-L","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":39805638246469,"sku":"10071-0456-XL","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":39805638279237,"sku":"10071-0456-2X","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3X","offer_id":39876962910277,"sku":"10071-0456-3X","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4X","offer_id":39876962975813,"sku":"10071-0456-4X","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5X","offer_id":39876963041349,"sku":"10071-0456-5X","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/Headstone_a75829db-6c6f-4408-9d9c-2a967be5a281.png?v=1762270575"},{"product_id":"glow-in-the-dark-skeletons-bralette","title":"The Bare Back Bones | Glow in the Dark Skeletons Boob Hammock™ Scoop Bralette","description":"\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eThe hip bone's connected to the back bone. 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Donning these Halloween Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear Briefs is only going to improve your chances with that sexy police officer at your Halloween party. 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