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Say goodbye to trying to stuff your bunched up boxer legs down your long johns. And no more peeling an extra layer of clothing off every time you need to pee. Or worse, trying to snake your dipstick through TWO underwear flies. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wiggled through the first fly and then just let ‘er rip. Ok I’ll tell you: It was one time. But one time was too many. So kick Old Man Winter in the nuts by keeping yours warm and supported with Ball Hammock® Pouch Long Underwear.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"black-long-underwear","title":"The Threat Level Midnight | Black Ball Hammock® Long Johns","description":"\u003cp\u003eThese black long johns are so comfortable and so versatile that you just might start wearing them in place of your regular underwear. 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It's as if your plums mounted a cloud while riding Falcor from The Neverending Story. Or, in this case, the wings of a god-damn Eagle. 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I’m on team blue, but my co-worker who named this pair The Precious Plums is clearly on team purple. 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According to elder scribes and poets who sported only large packages, the color royal blue was curated in the light of a dress-making competition for Queen Charlotte, the ride-or-die of King George III. Legend has it that ole’ Georgie was so \"shooketh\" by the winning shade of the promiscuous primary color that he needed some matching undergarments for his own pleasure.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eHundreds of years later and we've developed the most advanced long underwear with the same royal blue color as KGII himself. 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