{"title":"Retro, Vintage, \u0026 Neon Sunglasses by Shinesty","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cstyle type=\"text\/css\"\u003e\u003c!--\ntd {border: 1px solid #ccc;}br {mso-data-placement:same-cell;}\n--\u003e\u003c\/style\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"They want to sit on your face. Let them. Retro sunglasses, 90s sunglasses, and vintage-inspired shades so you can hide your sinning eyes from your mother. Granny gold sunglasses to paint your back porch red and visor sunglasses for blocking out the haters. What more could you ask for? You could ask for American flag sunglasses, or ski sunglasses and we’ve got those too damnit.\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":8403713,\"3\":[null,0],\"11\":4,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,4210752],\"15\":\"Arial\",\"16\":8,\"26\":400}'\u003eThey want to sit on your face. Let them. Shinesty sunglasses have sun blocking range beyond your wildest, wettest dreams. Retro sunglasses, 90s sunglasses, and vintage-inspired shades so you can hide your sinning eyes from your mother, who despite your best efforts definitely knows exactly what you've been up to. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"They want to sit on your face. Let them. Retro sunglasses, 90s sunglasses, and vintage-inspired shades so you can hide your sinning eyes from your mother. Granny gold sunglasses to paint your back porch red and visor sunglasses for blocking out the haters. What more could you ask for? You could ask for American flag sunglasses, or ski sunglasses and we’ve got those too damnit.\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":8403713,\"3\":[null,0],\"11\":4,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,4210752],\"15\":\"Arial\",\"16\":8,\"26\":400}'\u003eGranny gold sunglasses to paint your back porch red and visor sunglasses for blocking out the haters. What more could you ask for? You could ask for American flag sunglasses, or ski sunglasses and we’ve got those too damnit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"They want to sit on your face. Let them. Retro sunglasses, 90s sunglasses, and vintage-inspired shades so you can hide your sinning eyes from your mother. Granny gold sunglasses to paint your back porch red and visor sunglasses for blocking out the haters. What more could you ask for? You could ask for American flag sunglasses, or ski sunglasses and we’ve got those too damnit.\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":8403713,\"3\":[null,0],\"11\":4,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,4210752],\"15\":\"Arial\",\"16\":8,\"26\":400}'\u003eAll to say, what you want is what we've got, 90's, 80's, and 70's sunglasses keeping it shady through the decades. Mirrored, reflective, and tinted sunglasses, that would not be street legal on my '96 Camry. Or possibly you want some colorful sunglasses? Well this has gone on pretty long at this point but you probably know that we have those too.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-value='{\"1\":2,\"2\":\"They want to sit on your face. Let them. Retro sunglasses, 90s sunglasses, and vintage-inspired shades so you can hide your sinning eyes from your mother. Granny gold sunglasses to paint your back porch red and visor sunglasses for blocking out the haters. What more could you ask for? You could ask for American flag sunglasses, or ski sunglasses and we’ve got those too damnit.\"}' data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":8403713,\"3\":[null,0],\"11\":4,\"12\":0,\"14\":[null,2,4210752],\"15\":\"Arial\",\"16\":8,\"26\":400}'\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eYour Future is Bright in a Pair of Shinesty Sunglasses\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eThe late, great Ray Charles was a truly badass sunglasses-wearing icon who, sadly, never got the chance to tickle the ivories from behind a pair of Shinesty sunglasses, but considering that the undeniable allure of our sunglasses transcends well beyond sight to engage and tantalize all five of the senses, even he could have seen the appeal of these badass shades.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eListen as you bury your face inside a pair of neon pit viper sunglasses, letting them gently massage your sensitive ears into your new favorite erogenous zone like a naughty AMSR video. Because you can literally taste the way they shield your eyes from the sun and gently wrap around your head, your mouth will water while attempting to make eye contact from behind the reflective mirrored lenses. And depending on which lucky pair of sunglasses you pick to straddle your naked face, don’t be surprised if your sudden overproduction of pheromones make you smell the heady confidence of the countless others who have worn these eye-peeler concealers before you. From lifeguards and ski instructors observing more physique than technique, to private investigators and celebs trying to keep a low profile, Shinesty sunglasses are the nose clothes everyone can get behind. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eWith Our sunglasses, Find Happiness Where the Sun Shines and Where it Doesn’t\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eOnce you manage to regain your composure from the pleasure tsunami caused by wearing a pair of Shinesty sunglasses for the first time, you can ride the residual waves of satisfaction like an experienced sunglasses connoisseur. You’ll appreciate the perceived effect of x-ray vision when you’re able to secretly check out as much booty as you want in a pair of impenetrable Macho wrap around ski sunglasses, or give the impression of relative sobriety when you hide your dilated, bloodshot eyes behind some funky tinted retro lenses. From all colors of vintage \u0026amp; retro 70’s and 80’s sunnies, we’ve got a pair of ogle goggles ready to mount and ride your face for every sunshiny occasion. Choose from retro sunglasses, 90’s sunglasses, polarized aviator sunglasses, gold sunglasses, gold mirrored sunglasses, mirrored sunglasses, ski sunglasses, blade sunglasses, or American flag sunglasses, and enjoy a double shot of vitamin D while you soak up those rays with everything but your delicate corneas.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eIf you think you’re ready to join our legions of happy sunglasses customers, click here and scroll to the bottom of the page to keep reading about the characters behind each of our signature styles and pick the one that’s right for you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"shinesty-sunglasses-case","title":"Eyes Wide Shut | Shinesty Sunglasses Case","description":"","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":20509612740,"sku":"10204-0341-OSFA","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/06_16_21WomensUnderwear-8925.jpg?v=1762198006"},{"product_id":"white-teal-mirrored-macho-80s-ski-sunglasses","title":"The Machos | White \u0026 Teal Mirrored Sunglasses","description":"\u003cp\u003eWearing white frame sunglasses, for the most part, make you look like a mall rat circa '08. That's why we decided to reinvent the game with these white \u0026amp; teal mirrored retro sunglasses. In order to make sure the white frames do not label anyone wearing these as \"the guy that usually wears a Tapout shirt,\" we did some scientific research. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJayme, our intern, acted as our control variable. Now Jayme isn't very cool, but we realized these teal blade shades made her way cooler. How? Well for some reason we hired Jayme even though she had a Monster sticker on her back windshield, but when she threw these retro mirrored sunglasses on she immediately ripped that Monster sticker off her '07 Lexus, bought a 2-stroke dirt bike off Craig's List and trapped it back home in just under 2 hours. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn conclusion, based on this scientific trial, we've found The Machos will not turn you into \"the Tapout shirt guy,\" but quite the opposite. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":12153605259333,"sku":"APL-CPGPRMO-SG1232-OSFA","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/IMG_7866-Edit_b121c0d8-4c03-4f35-8b9d-60132bbf113b.jpg?v=1762199563"},{"product_id":"navy-and-yellow-colorful-glacier-sunglasses","title":"The Sun Cafe | Navy And Yellow Glacier Sunglasses","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYelp Review: The Sun Cafe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe atmosphere is terrible, I was hotter than a pig's loins. My sizzling fajitas were burnt to a crisp. It felt like every light in the universe was on. The staff was not rude to my date which pissed me off because I was banking on that. Thankfully, I had my sunglasses on to hide my disapproving glares, because of them I was able to leave unscathed. 5-stars for the sunglasses and 1-star for the Sun Cafe.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Third Party","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":19376628990021,"sku":"MWS-AVIQ219-SG1629-OSFA","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/2019_03_29_S_Glaciers_MR--8.jpg?v=1762200272"},{"product_id":"black-frame-shinesty-machos","title":"The Black Holes | Black Frame Machos Sunglasses","description":"\u003cp\u003eOur scientists at Shinesty World Headquarters are going pig-wild - they reached into the ass-end of a wormhole and found these sunglasses. We saw a parallel universe where hangovers don't exist, Elvis is famous for Steakhouses, and Danny Devito is President. Don't believe us? Look through the Black Holes and find out for yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eP.S. Hey, NASA. Suck it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":19557664751685,"sku":"APL-CPGQ219-SG0050-OSFA","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/2019_03_29_S_Sunnies_MR-3036-Edit.jpg?v=1762200322"},{"product_id":"the-boatercycle-blue-and-gold-mirrored-macho-polarized-sunglasses","title":"The Boatercycle | Blue and Gold Mirrored Macho Polarized Sunglasses","description":"\u003cp\u003eNine out of ten eye doctors recommend these polarized Revo lens sunglasses. They're sexy and versatile, sporty and chill, blue and gold mirrored shades. And for that, we think it's only fair that we explain what happened with that 10th doctor... After getting kicked out of DeVry Online, he finished up his degree in Panama. Speaking no Spanish, he wrote a controversial dissertation titled, \"Donde Esta La Biblioteca?\" After blinding several people and being run out of Panama, he caught a boat back to the States. While in international waters, he was taken captive by pirates. It was at this time that he was selected to rate these stunning sunnies. We still haven't heard back. Thus the 9 out of 10.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"Polarized","offer_id":31160183390277,"sku":"APL-CPGQ419-SG2081-OSFA","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/IMG_6004-Edit.jpg?v=1762201497"},{"product_id":"the-revo-yellow-and-red-mirrored-macho-polarized-sunglasses","title":"The Revo | Yellow and Red Mirrored Macho Polarized Sunglasses","description":"\u003cp\u003eDo you feel unexciting, insecure, blinded by the sun? If so, ask your local Shinesty retailer if Macho polarized shades are right for you. Yellow and red mirrored sunglasses have been proven to increase self-confidence and catch the attention of the opposite sex. Those in a committed relationship should consult their partner before purchasing such sick nasty shades. Side effects may include: soreness from an increased frequency of high fives, excessive compliments, and overuse of your genitals. If your swagger lasts for more than 24 hours, please write us a review.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":31160183423045,"sku":"APL-CPGQ419-SG2080-OSFA","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/IMG_6009-Edit_e507b73c-cbc2-4624-b127-919f2e03fc5c.jpg?v=1762201499"},{"product_id":"the-usa-machos-red-white-blue-retro-polarized-sunglasses","title":"The USA Machos | Red, White \u0026 Blue Retro Polarized Sunglasses","description":"\u003cp\u003eThese polarized sunglasses are America flavored. That means these stunning retro shades are equal parts red, white, blue, pick-up truck, open road, and freedom. And with this much patriotism comes a whole lotta responsibility. But not like chores and such. Mowing lawns isn’t gonna make America proud. This is more a responsibility to look good and live loud. Maybe rock out in the Rocky Mountains or get lit in the Great Lakes. You won’t just be doing yourself (and your face) a favor, you’ll be doing America a favor. So take the reins and give Uncle Sam and Lady Liberty a chance to kick back and crush some cold ones.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":31160183455813,"sku":"APL-CPGQ419-SG2128-OSFA","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/IMG_5997-Edit.jpg?v=1762201499"},{"product_id":"retro-neon-polarized-macho-sunglasses","title":"The Steep And Deep | Retro Neon Polarized Macho Sunglasses","description":"\u003cp\u003eWARNING: these sunglasses may cause immense distraction. While wearing, subjects have reported unwarranted compliments, excessive staring, and some gentle caressing of frames. These polarized Macho sunglasses are a professional-grade attraction tool, so wear with caution and use them wisely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":39404850970693,"sku":"MPL-CPGQ321-SG2672-OSFA","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/TheSteepandDeepSG2672.jpg?v=1762269583"},{"product_id":"clear-polarized-mirrored-macho-sunglasses","title":"The Crushed Ice | Clear Polarized Mirrored Macho Sunglasses","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot all ice is created equal, so I'd like to rank my three favorite types of ice for you today: \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e3. Giant blocks of ice: have you ever got ice block sliding? You get a block of ice and sit on it and slide down a hill. invigorating. Or, have you chucked one in a swimming pool and played with it until it melts? Fun as heck.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e2. Ice made out of something that's not water: like iced coffee cubes. It's pretty neat to not water down your beverage if you ask me. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e1. Pebble Ice: like the kind you get at country club ice makers and the Sonic drive through.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you're a true ice connoisseur like me, then you belong in this pair of polarized Macho sunglasses named after my favorite frozen delicacy.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":39404851003461,"sku":"MPL-CPGQ321-SG2673-OSFA","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/TheCrushedIceSG2673.jpg?v=1762269584"},{"product_id":"the-cornea-combusters-red-and-blue-revo-retro-macho-sunglasses","title":"The Cornea Combusters | Red And Blue Revo Retro Macho Sunglasses","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWhile you're wearing these Macho sunglasses, any human or dog who looks your way will instantly drool. Your presence will be so electric that they will lose control of their bodily functions. It's pretty cool, and slightly gross, but mostly cool\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":39410392072261,"sku":"MPL-CPGQ221-SG2463-OSFA","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/05_27_21StackingGifts_Layflats-7643_1.jpg?v=1762269589"},{"product_id":"blue-yellow-and-red-polarized-retro-macho-sunglasses","title":"The Powerhouse |  Blue Polarized Retro Macho Sunglasses","description":"\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eThese Macho Polarized Sunglasses don’t just block sunlight. THEY BODY SLAM THOSE RAYS TIL THEY’RE BEGGING FOR MERCY. These bad boys feature all 3 primary colors because there’s nothing secondary about you. Polarized. Revo lenses. Looks nice but warning, they do not play well with others. \u003c\/span\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":39671418519621,"sku":"10118-0416-OSFA","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/Tier4_Machos.jpg?v=1762270446"},{"product_id":"neoprene-visor-sunglass-visor-sunglasses","title":"The Tandem | Neoprene Visor Sunglasses","description":"\u003cp\u003eAre you serious about keeping the sun out of your eyes? But not so serious that you don’t mind looking like a weirdo who’s wearing a combination visor \u0026amp; sunglasses? Then have we got the product for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":40798623400005,"sku":"10406-1512-OSFA","price":49.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/stackinggifts_visor_white-4copy.jpg?v=1762274340"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/collections\/Shinesty_Retro_Sunglasses_Pit_Viper_Collection.jpg?v=1657223917","url":"https:\/\/shinesty.com\/collections\/shinesty-sunglasses.oembed","provider":"Shinesty","version":"1.0","type":"link"}