{"title":"Men's Valentine's Day Underwear","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cstyle type=\"text\/css\"\u003e\u003c!--\ntd {border: 1px solid #ccc;}br {mso-data-placement:same-cell;}\n--\u003e\u003c\/style\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":769,\"3\":[null,0],\"11\":4,\"12\":0}' data-sheets-value=\"{\" best part about our collection of valentine day boxers is that we only have pair but since this will get like no search traffic can say out heart and so you cam keep your man twig berries protected they are primed when it time to wined dined why ask because for him a bonified ball pouch micromodel technology want take them off the feeling right.\u003eThe best part about our collection of Valentine's Day underwear for him is that we only have 1 pair, but since this collection will get like no search traffic we can say \"Check out our collection of heart boxers and men's Valentine's Day underwear, so you cam keep your man's twig and berries protected so they are primed when it's time to get wined, dined and 69ed.\" Why you ask? Because our \"Valentine's day boxers for him\" have a bonafide ball pouch and micro-modal technology so you'll only want to take your sexy heart print underwear off when the feeling is right. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-sheets-userformat='{\"2\":769,\"3\":[null,0],\"11\":4,\"12\":0}' data-sheets-value=\"{\" best part about our collection of valentine day boxers is that we only have pair but since this will get like no search traffic can say out heart and so you cam keep your man twig berries protected they are primed when it time to wined dined why ask because for him a bonified ball pouch micromodel technology want take them off the feeling right.\u003e---\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eHeart Boxers are the Classic Valentine’s Day Gift for your Man\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eEverybody knows dudes are notoriously hard to shop for, so if you’re shopping for a man this Valentine’s Day, seduce his inner Cupid and get a pair of Valentine’s boxers for him. By far the most popular cartoon version of men’s underwear (and therefore clearly the most fun), a pair of red heart boxers is a classic Valentine’s Day gift for any guy. You’ll love the way a pair of heart print Valentine’s Day boxers will cradle his eggplant emoji like a quiver for his love arrows until it’s time to remove YOUR gift from its, um, packaging. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eLook like Cupid this Valentine's Day in Heart Boxers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eEven Cupid himself turned his life around when his lover gifted him a pair of our men’s Valentine’s Day boxer. His package finally looked like a man instead of an adorable diaper-wearing baby cherub, and that was the switch he needed to start spreading the love instead of just fucking around with it like he’d been doing for centuries without the men's Valentine's underwear.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eSure, your date might be expecting flowers or dinner, but win Valentine’s Day this year and give the gift they were too shy to ask for when you show up for date night in a pair of funny heart print boxers. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eComplete any V-day look with with a pair of Valentine's boxer briefs. Right when your S.O. thinks the themed party has stopped…BAM…rip off those pants and reveal your sexy pouch underwear.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"red-solid-boxer","title":"The Red Dress Effect | Red Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou may have heard of something known as the red dress effect, but we'd like to introduce a new, simpler theory. It's called the red dong effect, the idea that sliding into a pair of these solid red boxer briefs causes ladies across the globe to flock, and inevitably makes your junk look gigantic. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's because these nut nesting boxers are the second softest thing you can put your junk in and the last pair of red pouch boxers you'll ever buy. Why? Because MicroModal fabric is softer than Drake, and Ball Hammock® technology gently lifts the boys out of the grundle, keeping 'em dry and looking big as ever. Do us a favor and give the red dong effect a try, then check out what\u003ca title=\"Shinesty Boxer Briefs Men's Health Article\" href=\"https:\/\/www.menshealth.com\/style\/a19546937\/shinesty-best-underwear-men-boxer-briefs\/\" target=\"_blank\"\u003e Men's Health's \u003c\/a\u003ehas to say about 'em. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":47967144527,"sku":"10071-0341-S","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":47967144591,"sku":"10071-0341-M","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":47967144655,"sku":"10071-0341-L","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47967144719,"sku":"10071-0341-XL","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":47967144783,"sku":"10071-0341-2X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3X","offer_id":39876804411461,"sku":"10071-0341-3X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4X","offer_id":39876804444229,"sku":"10071-0341-4X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5X","offer_id":39876804476997,"sku":"10071-0341-5X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/RedDongEffect_6684a646-2e71-42a6-a711-86048684a8e5.png?v=1762199173"},{"product_id":"valentines-ball-hammock-pouch-underwear","title":"The Hot-Blooded Handbook | Valentines Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear","description":"\u003cp\u003eA total idiot once said if you love something set it free. Nay! If you are A) a female or a male and B) love your man, then you know you need to keep his nads happy even when they aren't in your hands. Valentine's day? No exception. In fact, v-day's an obligation for you to protect those baby makers at all costs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEnter our Valentine's Day Ball Hammock® Boxer Briefs. They have a bonafide ball pouch (AKA they keep the kids out of the grundle) and are made from ultra soft MicroModal so you can keep the boys primed until it's time to be wined, dined and maybe even slapped from behind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":1584339058703,"sku":"10071-0601-S","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":1584339091471,"sku":"10071-0601-M","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":1584339124239,"sku":"10071-0601-L","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":1584339157007,"sku":"10071-0601-XL","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":1584339189775,"sku":"10071-0601-2X","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3X","offer_id":40122831863877,"sku":"10071-0601-3X","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4X","offer_id":40122831896645,"sku":"10071-0601-4X","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5X","offer_id":40122831929413,"sku":"10071-0601-5X","price":14.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/HotBloodedBXStndrd.png?v=1762199305"},{"product_id":"kama-sutra-party-kimono","title":"The Hot-Blooded Handbook | Valentines Day Party Kimono","description":"\u003cp\u003eTurn the heat up to 82 and call a babysitter 'cus this Valentine's Day kimono is hot. It'll take you on a sexual journey more eye opening than the migration to Mecca. In preparation, we recommend warning your bank that their will be no card activity for 3-4 days. It's also worth alerting authorities to disregard any missing person reports. Yeah, the other kindergarden parents might gossip that you essentially passed off your parenting roles to a 7th grade babysitter, but you know they're just jealous of your sex festival. Plus, Samantha is a very responsible for a 7th grader, so all is well that ends well. And it will end well.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S\/M","offer_id":15348093452357,"sku":"10022-0601-SM","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L\/XL","offer_id":15348093517893,"sku":"10022-0601-LXL","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/11_20_18-1001.jpg?v=1762199900"},{"product_id":"rose-valentines-day-ball-hammock-boxer","title":"The Right Reasons | Rose Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou getting thorny for these rose print briefs? Sure you are. These were focus-group tested for their thorniness. In fact, 9 out of 10 focus groups broke out into wild orgies. The 10th group was full of weirdos. They kept it to hand stuff under the table. That's because the rose is the official symbol of getting weird. You don't give someone a dozen of these razor blade studded flowers unless you're looking to mix in a little pain with pleasure. Tickle your fancy with a pair of these red rose Ball Hammocks and let everyone know: when you mess with the rose, you get the thorns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":29475610787909,"sku":"10071-0947-S","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":29475610820677,"sku":"10071-0947-M","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":29475610853445,"sku":"10071-0947-L","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":29475610886213,"sku":"10071-0947-XL","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":29475610918981,"sku":"10071-0947-2X","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3X","offer_id":40137315385413,"sku":"10071-0947-3X","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4X","offer_id":40137315418181,"sku":"10071-0947-4X","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5X","offer_id":40137315450949,"sku":"10071-0947-5X","price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/products\/RightReasons_f9cc758e-5fe7-4a59-8658-e6773aed9b2c.png?v=1762200748"},{"product_id":"black-tuxedo-boxer-brief","title":"The 009 | Black Tuxedo Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear","description":"\u003cp\u003eName's Dong. James, Dong. Dress your genitals to the 9s with these black tie tuxedo boxers. Why? Because first impressions are everything. That's why they offed Bambi’s mom in the first scene of the movie. Who’s gonna watch 90 minutes about a deer unless there’s some serious grit to it, maybe even the possibility of a Punisher level redemption plot? Like, why else would Bambi befriend someone named ‘Thumper’? But we’re getting off track. The point is you should always dress to impress. No one wants to sputter along in a Toyota Echo when they can roll up in a stretch hummer limousine. People notice the difference. Size matters. That’s why these high-class bow-tied nut huggers matter.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":31785158574149,"sku":"10071-0322-S","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":31785193209925,"sku":"10071-0322-M","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":31785193406533,"sku":"10071-0322-L","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":31785193766981,"sku":"10071-0322-XL","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2X","offer_id":31785193963589,"sku":"10071-0322-2X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3X","offer_id":39876803035205,"sku":"10071-0322-3X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4X","offer_id":39876803067973,"sku":"10071-0322-4X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5X","offer_id":39876803100741,"sku":"10071-0322-5X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/009_72ce44b8-124c-4e07-9a20-ab1ed22a9840.png?v=1762200941"},{"product_id":"happy-nuts-comfort-cream-sweat-defense-and-odor-control-lotion","title":"Happy Nuts Comfort Cream |  Sweat Defense And Odor Control Lotion","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf it's warm outside as you read this, I can almost guarantee your gonads are a little sweaty. If you've ever suffered from bat wings, SWASS or chub rub you may be entitled to compensation. Just kidding, we can't offer you money, but we can offer you a solution to your Gold Bond addiction. Introducing Happy Nuts: the most innovative comfort cream to ever soothe your shweaddy balls. It applies like a lotion, and dries like a powder to keep you cool and comfortable 24\/7. If all of that hasn't already convinced you that you NEED this stuff, then allow me to remind you that no suitable mate enjoys 'nad sweat. None. Not one. \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Third Party","offers":[{"title":"Fragrance Free","offer_id":44623766061125,"sku":"30000-0101-225","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sandalwood Zest","offer_id":44623766093893,"sku":"30000-0102-225","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/HNHEROImages-2025-01-28T085339.072.png?v=1770656551"},{"product_id":"valentines-day-emoji-long-leg-ball-hammock-boxer","title":"The Emoji After Party | Emoji Ball Hammock® Boxer - Long Leg","description":"\u003cp\u003eRemember back in the day when all we could say was (; and 8===D~ and ( . )( . ) ? You had to get pretty creative during those late night, \"you up?\" texts. Luckily, technology has progressed to emojis. Send a bigger hint that sticks with these emoji covered long leg Ball Hammock®. Oh ya, we added 2.5 inches down there so now our long leg Ball Hammock® feature a whopping 8.5 inch inseam. You're welcome.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":32001148649541,"sku":"10180-0629-S","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":32001148682309,"sku":"10180-0629-M","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":32001148715077,"sku":"10180-0629-L","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":32001148747845,"sku":"10180-0629-XL","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":32001148780613,"sku":"10180-0629-2X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/EmojiAfterPartyBLF.png?v=1762268733"},{"product_id":"build-a-couples-underwear-pack","title":"Couples Underwear Pack Builder","description":"\u003cmeta http-equiv=\"content-type\" content=\"text\/html; charset=utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-stringify-type=\"bold\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe Time Has Come to Build Your Couple's Matching Underwear Pack\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThe concept is pretty simple. Why get just one pair of matching underwear when you can stack up to 9 pairs of underwear and save up to 25% while you're at it. Just pick your style and size, then start packing from the wildest selection of couple's matching underwear on the internet.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"c-mrkdwn__br\" data-stringify-type=\"paragraph-break\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAdd as many or as few pairs to your Ball Hammock®, cheeky \u0026amp; thong pack as you want, because the more you pack, the more you save. There’s never been a better time to stuff your package to the brim.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"c-mrkdwn__br\" data-stringify-type=\"paragraph-break\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWith a tsunami’s worth of our men’s and women's underwear patterns available for you to cram in that pack, you’ll have no shortage of mix and matching options available to spice things up in the bedroom. Match your mate and pack your sack now.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shinesty","offers":[{"title":"OSFA","offer_id":32069890703429,"sku":"MPL-SHNPACK-UW0000","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/match2.jpg?v=1759257804"},{"product_id":"the-009-black-tuxedo-boxers-w-fly","title":"The 009 | Black Tuxedo Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly","description":"\u003cp\u003eName's Dong. James, Dong. Dress your genitals to the 9s with these black tie tuxedo boxers. Why? Because first impressions are everything. That's why they offed Bambi’s mom in the first scene of the movie. Who’s gonna watch 90 minutes about a deer unless there’s some serious grit to it, maybe even the possibility of a Punisher level redemption plot? Like, why else would Bambi befriend someone named ‘Thumper’? But we’re getting off track. The point is you should always dress to impress. No one wants to sputter along in a Toyota Echo when they can roll up in a stretch hummer limousine. People notice the difference. Size matters. That’s why these high-class bow-tied nut huggers wmatter.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"XS","offer_id":41044768522309,"sku":"10070-0322-XS","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S","offer_id":39260567076933,"sku":"10070-0322-S","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":39260567109701,"sku":"10070-0322-M","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":39260567142469,"sku":"10070-0322-L","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":39260567175237,"sku":"10070-0322-XL","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2X","offer_id":39260567208005,"sku":"10070-0322-2X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3X","offer_id":39876801527877,"sku":"10070-0322-3X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4X","offer_id":39876801560645,"sku":"10070-0322-4X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5X","offer_id":39876801593413,"sku":"10070-0322-5X","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/Boxer_Fly_NO_CALL_OUT2_181101ea-a353-478e-ab71-8d0fa7c1abad.png?v=1762268988"},{"product_id":"the-lovely-nuts-valentines-day-ball-hammock-pouch-underwear-w-fly","title":"The Hot-Blooded Handbook | Valentines Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly","description":"\u003cp\u003eA total idiot once said if you love something set it free. Nay! If you love your man, then you know you need to keep his nads happy even when they aren't in your hands. Valentine's day? No exception. In fact, v-day's an obligation for you to protect those baby makers at all costs. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEnter our Valentine's Day Ball Hammock® pouch underwear with fly. They have a bonafide ball pouch (AKA they keep the kids out of the grundle) and are made from ultra soft MicroModal so you can keep the boys primed until it's time to be wined, dined and maybe even slapped from behind. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Private Label","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":39260604235845,"sku":"10070-0601-S","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"M","offer_id":39260604301381,"sku":"10070-0601-M","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"L","offer_id":39260604366917,"sku":"10070-0601-L","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"XL","offer_id":39260604432453,"sku":"10070-0601-XL","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2X","offer_id":39260604497989,"sku":"10070-0601-2X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"3X","offer_id":40122831765573,"sku":"10070-0601-3X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4X","offer_id":40122831798341,"sku":"10070-0601-4X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"5X","offer_id":40122831831109,"sku":"10070-0601-5X","price":9.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0234\/5963\/files\/HotBloodedBXFly.png?v=1762269010"},{"product_id":"the-red-dong-effect-red-ball-hammock-pouch-underwear-w-fly","title":"The Red Dress Effect | Red Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou may have heard of something known as the red dress effect, but we'd like to introduce a new, simpler theory. It's called the red dong effect, the idea that sliding into a pair of these solid red boxer briefs causes ladies across the globe to flock, and inevitably makes your junk look gigantic. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's because these nut nesting boxers are the second softest thing you can put your junk in and the last pair of red pouch boxers you'll ever buy. Why? Because MicroModal fabric is softer than Drake, and Ball Hammock® technology gently lifts the boys out of the grundle, keeping 'em dry and looking big as ever. 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